


Drunken Mistakes

by ChocolateAndRedbull



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Drunk Peter Parker, Gen, Harley Keener & Peter Parker Friendship, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Precious Peter Parker, cooper Barton like likes Peter parker, drunk puke, harley keener & Peter Parker & Cooper Barton love triangle, peter parker is oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24337912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocolateAndRedbull/pseuds/ChocolateAndRedbull
Summary: When Harley suggested swiping alcohol for the kid’s party, Cooper had a glimmer of hope that maybe something might happen in the romance departmentBut a game of Spin the Bottle proves that nothing good can come from drinking
Relationships: Cooper Barton/Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Cooper Barton & Harley Keener, Peter Parker & Cooper Barton & Harley Keener & Lila Barton & Cassie Lang, Tony Stark & Peter Parker & Harley Keener
Comments: 1
Kudos: 52





	Drunken Mistakes

“Boys? What’re you up to?” Tony asked suspiciously when he strode into the party room to find Peter and Cooper stood near the bar. 

Both boys jumped and turned to Tony with wide eyes, “Uh, nothing! We were... uh...” Peter began. 

“We were looking for you!” Cooper finished, giving Peter a pointed look.

Tony raised an eyebrow, “Oh yeah? What for?” 

“Um... to ask you... if we could come to the party! Yeah, instead of the kids one, in the play house,” Peter said. “You know, we’re seventeen and we don’t wanna be stuck with the little kids.”

“The ‘playhouse’ is putting it a little lightly, don’t you think, kid? It’s an arcade slash movie theater slash hangout we built specifically for you guys.” But Tony still smiled sympathetically. “Look, you know the rules, 18 and over, and besides you’re getting a good deal, Morgan and the the littlest Barton are gonna be with a sitter so it’s just you guys, Lila and Cassie, and Harley,” he paused. “Where is he, by the way? The three of you are usually joined at the hip.” 

“Uh, I don’t know, haven’t seen him, Mr Stark,” Cooper said, trying to ignore Peter’s nervous glancing at the bar. Tony looked around just after Harley’s head disappeared behind the countertop.

“You better not be up to something,” Tony warned, “because I won’t hesitate to get a sitter for you three as well.”

“Us? Up to something? Of course not, Mr Stark!” Cooper smiled. “Enjoy the party!” He nudged Peter and nodded towards the door, which Harley had just snuck out through. “See you later!” Peter called as both boys hurried for the door. 

Tony scratched at his beard but decided that he didn’t want to know.

———

“Spin the bottle,” Harley announced. Both Cooper and Lila recoiled in disgust, “No!” 

Harley rolled his eyes. “Ugh, obviously spin again if you land on your sibling, but yes. I’m tired of karaoke, Peter sucks.”

Peter turned his head from where he was half passed out on the floor. “I beg your fucking pardon?” he slurred. 

Cassie snorted. “Okay, I’m in, Peter get up,” she said, grabbing his hands and hauling him up into a sitting position. Peter blinked, dazed from the sudden movement, before pulling his cup to his lips. “Goddammit,” he mumbled, before throwing his empty plastic cup across the room. 

Cooper rolled his eyes. “Here, spider-dork, have mine. Now, lets get started.”

————

As soon as Peter managed to make his way out of the playhouse, he stumbled over his own feet and fell face-first right into a neatly trimmed bush. He couldn’t stop laughing; his stomach twitched, and his eyes watered.

“What is so funny?” Cooper asked, smacking his forehead with his palm. He’d sobered up quite some time ago, but Peter was still hammered. He didn’t stop drinking at the party; whenever his cup was empty, he practically screamed at anyone who was listening for it to be filled back up with that expensive vodka Harley had swiped, and now he couldn’t even remember how to stand up.

“This feels funny!” Peter exclaimed, rubbing his reddened face against the leaves of the bush. He tried to roll onto his side to get up, but he didn’t get very far, and he couldn’t get his feet to find the pavement. “Do you think Mr Stark would mind if I slept here?” he asked, his voice completely slurred.

“You can’t sleep here, Peter! We’re outside and it’s the middle of February,” Cooper said, grabbing Peter by his shoulders and heaving him up out of the bush. It was a tough feat, but somehow he managed. He eased Peter to his feet, still keeping a firm grip on his jacket because Peter still wasn’t steady enough to stand on his own. However, the moment Peter was upright, his face turned green and he immediately doubled over and retched onto his own shoes. Cooper rubbed his friends back and waited for him to stop vomiting. Once Peter stopped, Cooper grabbed him by the collar and hauled him upwards. “Okay, up you come,” he said with a sigh as Peter swallowed and let out a small belch.

When Harley had suggested swiping some alcohol for the party, he didn’t think it’d end up like this. Figuring that he shouldn’t get his hopes up, he didn’t come with any expectations for the night in the romance department, but when he’d suggested Spin the Bottle, Cooper felt a tiny glimmer of optimism that maybe when it was his turn to spin the bottle, it’d land on Peter, or vice versa. But instead, when Peter spun the empty vodka bottle, it pointed right to Harley.

A part of him, perhaps a foolish part, thought that despite all the alcohol Peter consumed, he’d try and weasel his way out of kissing him, because Cooper was right there, sitting next to him, and Peter knew about his feelings. But when Harley grasped the collar of Peter’s shirt, and told him to ‘pucker up, sweet cheeks’, he didn’t pull away. He kissed him back, and when they broke apart, the look on his face made Cooper’s stomach turn.

But maybe he was just thinking too far into things. Peter was drunk out of his mind, he wondered if he would even remember this night come morning. Maybe the kiss meant nothing. Maybe they could still be together sometime in the future.

He couldn’t fantasize about getting with Peter now, though, not when he needed him just to be able to move. He couldn’t just leave him here.

“The stars are briiiight toniiiiight!” Peter said, looking up at the night sky, his neck craned back so far that it looked like he was going to fall over again. He brought his hand up and pointed towards the sky. “Isn’t it pretty, Coop? Maybe there’ll be a shooting star. Do you think there will be? Maybe we should wish on it. I wanna make a wish on a shooting star, Coop.”

Cooper turned away from Peter; the scent of alcohol and vomit on his breath was pungent. He tossed Peter’s arm around his shoulders and hitched his arm around his waist. “Will you pay attention already?” Cooper huffed, blowing his hair out of his eyes. “You need to help me. I can’t carry you to your room, you’re too heavy. I just need you to stop looking at the damn sky and help me.”

“But it is so pretty, the sky is so clear,” Peter mused, but he finally took a step forward, joining Cooper. “Except for that cloud,” he said with a point. “I’d love to sit on a cloud...” he said.

“Pete, you can’t sit on a cloud, you’d fall right through,” Cooper said, waiting for Peter to move. “Are you calling me fat?!” he said, aghast. He swayed dangerously – had Cooper not been there to support him, he probably would have really hurt himself – but managed to stay on his feet.

Now they only had to make it to Peter’s bedroom without getting caught.

“Ready?” Cooper asked.

Peter hiccupped and then sort of nodded and that was good enough for him. Cooper took the first step, waited for Peter to join him, and then took another. The process was slow, but after a good ten minutes, they were finally standing in front of the door leading back inside the main compound. He pushed open the door, and all but threw Peter inside so he wouldn’t fall over or wander off.

“Toasty warm!” Peter said, as the door closed behind him. Cooper promptly ignored him. He had considered just bringing Peter to his own room until he sobered up enough, but he was loud and there would be hell to pay if he woke up Nate. It was the middle of the night, despite the music and voices from the party room down the hall and he didn’t want to make it awkward, either. No, it’d just be best if he took Peter to his own room, but he couldn’t just dump him off while he was stone cold drunk.

How could he get Peter to sober up? What would be the fastest way?

Peter hadn’t eaten anything before the party, and he only drank while he was there. Cooper didn’t know too much about alcohol, but he supposed that drinking on an empty stomach didn’t do Peter any favours.

It was worth a shot. Cooper figured that anything he gave Peter, as long as it wasn’t alcohol, would only improve the situation.

Peter had been fumbling with his phone and they both jumped when it started to loudly play music. “This love has taken its toll on me, she said goodbye, too many times before. And her heart is breaking in front of me, I have no choice ‘cause I won’t say goodbye anymore,” he started to sing, completely off-tune, his words blending together. He stared out of the glass walls for a moment or two, and then turned his head to look at Cooper so quickly that his neck cracked. “What do you think it would be like to own a rocket ship?”

“What?” Cooper asked.

“A rocket ship! I bet that would be sooo cool, don’t you think? We could actually fly to the moon!” Peter told him, bouncing up and down on his heels. “And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time till touchdown brings me round again to find I’m not the man they think I am at home, oh no no no! I’M A ROCKET MAN! ROOOCKET MAN! Burning out his fuse up here alone.”

Cooper changed the song to keep his attention. “Peter, you’ve fucking been to space,” he grumbled, and quickly realized that was an awful idea.

“OH MY GOOOD, I LOOOVE THIS SONG,” Peter exclaimed, turning up the volume as he started to dance. “I want you, we can bring it on the floor, never danced like this before, we don’t talk about it. Dancing on, do the boogie all night long, Stoned in Paradise, shouldn’t talk about it.”

He could not get to the kitchen faster.

Luckily, he managed to drag Peter into the kitchen just as Stolen Dance finished. Cooper stabbed the phone with his index finger which turned off the song, and shoved Peter onto a stool.

“Hey, how did you do that?” Peter asked.

Cooper ignored his question. “What do you want?”

“A million dollars!” Peter said, chuckling to himself.

Cooper glared at him. “I mean food-wise,” he said, gesturing to the kitchen.

Peter looked at Cooper and leaned close to him, shutting his eyes and puckering his lips. “Gis’ a kiss.”

Cooper placed a hand against Peter’s cheek and pushed him away. “No way, not while you’re drunk. What do you want to eat? A sandwich?”

Peter just fumbled with the zipper on his jacket. 

“A sandwich it is,” Cooper sighed, moving towards the fridge.

“And some orange juice, please,” Peter added. 

Cooper nodded and pulled out anything he find to put in a sandwich. 

“Oooh! You’re making me dinner?” Peter asked, his voice high-pitched and cracking a bit, but at least his words were slightly more coherent than they were before. “Is this a date?”

Cooper rolled his eyes slowly and slapped a load of ham onto the sandwich. Peter was no longer speaking at the top of his lungs, which was probably a good sign, but he still was saying things he probably wouldn’t have had he not been drunk. Cooper supposed that was a tiny improvement.

Cooper placed a few slices of cheese in between the bread before stopping himself. “Wait, aren’t you lactose intolerant?” 

Peter scoffed, before a matter of fact “yeah,” and shoved the sandwich into his face. 

Cooper just rolled his eyes.

He couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss – the one between Peter and Harley instead of Peter and him. Yeah, it might have been during a drunken game, but it still hurt to see his friend and the guy he was crushing hard for make out right in front of his face. The possibility of a real relationship with Peter seemed further away than ever now.

Peter must have been hungry, he had almost eaten all of his food and his orange juice was already half-gone. The overwhelming colour in his cheeks started to drain a bit, and his eyes seemed a bit more focused, less glazed over and glossy.

“How are you feeling?” Cooper asked in a soft voice.

“A bit shit,” Peter said through a mouthful of bread.

“Guess it’s working,” Cooper mused, a small grin playing at his lips.

It only took another thirty or so minutes when they were in Peter’s room that he started to complain that his head and stomach ached.

“Did I hit my head?” Peter asked, rubbing his temples.

“Well, you did fall when you were singing karaoke with Harley,” Cooper told him, nodding.

Peter sat there completely silent for a moment until everything that happened that night slowly came back to him. “Oooh, I remember. We sang Islands in the Stream!” he said, wide smile playing at his lips.

Cooper looked down at his hands in his laps. “And you kissed.”

“Well, yeah,” Peter said nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders. “We were playing Spin the Bottle.” He glanced over at Cooper from the corner of his eye and frowned. “Did I do something wrong?”

Cooper sighed heavily. “It’s just that Harley’s our friend... and everything I told you... I just didn’t think you’d do that.”

Peter’s brows furrowed together, his face expressionless. “Coop, that kiss didn’t mean anything,” he repeated, smiling softly. “I was drunk and so was he, and I am sure he is regretting everything we did tonight just as much as I am right now. If the bottle had landed on Cassie, or Lila, or you, I would have done the same. If I would have known...” his voice trailed off and he hesitantly reached for Cooper’s hand and took it in his own, marvelling for a moment at how soft and warm it was, how it fit so well in his. “If I would have known it was going to hurt you, I wouldn’t have done it.”

Cooper nodded, but didn’t look up at Peter. He knew he was overreacting, but no matter how much alcohol was involved, or whatever game, it still hurt to see them make out. But Peter was right – it was just a game, it didn’t mean anything, and Cooper just needed to let it go.

“You believe me, don’t you?” Peter asked.

Slowly, Cooper drew his eyes up and smiled gently. “Yeah, I do,” he said at long last. He knew that Peter wasn’t a jerk and that he wouldn’t purposefully hurt him; he was just a regular guy who made mistakes and sometimes did things he regretted.

“Good,” Peter said happily, scooting over a bit more, his lips lingering just over Cooper’s but instead of kissing him, he was kissing his palm. “What the-?”

“You just ate like a mountain of cheese and your breath still reeks of alcohol and vomit,” Cooper told him, smirking mischievously. “You’re not getting any kisses from me tonight.” 


End file.
